my main page Pudgee Feet
my journal Thinking Feet
my dreams...duh Dream Journal
about me About This Feet
photo album Pics
guestbook FeetBook
Duckie Shop Duckie Shop
talk to me! Contact Me

blah blah blah... talk too much
I really do... take that as your warning.

1 2 . 2 8 . 0 4 | 0 2 : 0 6 a m
This will sound strange, but I'm ready to go back to work. I was so excited for my break, but my last two days of break have been horrible. I'm not used to NOT having something to do and no schedules to follow. I feel like I'm in undergrad again, procrastinating during finals week.

I've knitted one foot of a scarf in the past two days and the days have been blurring together because I've been sleeping at 4am, waking up at noon, then napping in the evening, and staying up until 4 am. I am not happy. I need something to do, so for no one elses other than my own interest, I'm gonna put my to-do list here so that I can be reminded of the things I need to do when I waste time on the computer (idea taken from linda).

Things to do now (stop wasting time):
* finish knitting J's mom's scarf
* send michelle her gift

* finish my mom's scarf
(now i just have to take a pic of it!)

Things to do for masters:
* research for my thesis
* polish up my question
* come up with methodology
* write thesis up to methodology

Things to do for teaching:
* Write syllabus for semester 2
* research interactive notebooks
* Lesson plan

Rewarded things to do:
* finish my poor half customized dollies
* sew up a storm

1 2 . 2 7 . 0 4 | 0 2 : 3 6 1 m
Oh man I splurged today! Each year, there seems to be less exchanging of gifts. It sucks because I don't receive much, but it's also nice because I also don't buy as much. So instead of spending money on each other, I went and splurged today!

We went to Club Monaco and oh boy... I bought him 2 sweaters, 1 zip-up, and 1 pair of cords. I bought myself 4 button up shirts, 6 sweaters... hm, maybe that's it. We walked out with 3 huge bags. Even the sales person was laughing at me. And on the way out, the manager said, "see you next week!" But that was to J (he works near by and goes there often enough to know the manager).

So what did I receive for xmas? A really cool scarf from Winnie, the beautiful Renee Necklace from Linda, couple dollies to play with from j, american express gift card from j's bro, and money from parents.

Of course, I also received the usual lame gifts from relatives who should really just save their time and money. J tells me I need to just stop exchanging gifts with them... but it's not like I intentionally exchange gifts with them. My parents give them money (lots of it too), so they feel obligated to give me something, but I guess are too cheap so they dig up strange stuff to give me. Last year, I received a bright orange sweatshrit that was obviously old!!! It had a hole in it!! *shakes head*

Anyway, I still need to take pics of the really cool scarf. I wore and outfit that went really well with it 2 days ago but had no camera on me. :( Oh well, I need to not let me sleeping habits screw up during this break, but I KNOW it will. I just can't help but to stay up super late. :\

1 2 . 2 3 . 0 4 | 1 0 : 5 6 p m
6 months back, my old physics buddy told me that he was called to serve in iraq. We were supposed to meet up, but it was a super busy time in my life and same for him, so we didn't even get to talk before he left.

With the holidays approaching, I thought about finding out his contact info so I could send him something, but just never got around to it. what a friend, huh? I keep thinking about what he said that last time we met up. I told him about sarah's brother and about their communication. He told me how unless you're there, you wouldn't understand how exciting it is to receive one simple letter. It's the only excitement there and the only thing to look forward to. With all that's going on here, writing a letter can get lost in our long list of things to do, but for them, receiving that one letter is the most significant thing for weeks.

I keep thinking about what he said and thought how nice it would be if I could mail him something. This morning, I wake up and get on the internet like usual. But unlike other days, I see him on aim! We chat a bit and I got his mailing addy. I can't think of what to send him, but he talked about how cold it is there so I think I'm going to knit him a scarf and gloves. Any suggestions for colors? I figure I will probably have to use some boring manly color, so I thought about knitting his initals in it. Any other suggestions?

1 2 . 1 3 . 0 4 | 1 1 : 2 6 p m
I only got 3 hours of sleep last night. I kept falling asleep while tutoring the kids after school. I really should go to bed now, but I just wanted to share some dolly pictures with anyone who's not afraid of them! :P

Sunday was a reality check that christmas is coming! I unexpectedly received 2 presents! thank you! ;) But I felt so bad cuz I haven't started on my xmas stuff yet. Well, I shop throughout the year, so I have some stuff. It's the handmade gifts that will take time. Last day of school is the 21st so I'll probably start sewing on the 21st and sew through the 22nd. I thought last day of school was the 22nd, but learned today that's it's the 21st! Probably the best news of the year! :D

I am still waiting for it to be cold again so I can wear my new scarf and take a picture!! Thanks, W!!!

1 2 . 0 7 . 0 4 | 0 8 : 2 6 p m
Sometimes, it's the "accessories" that make the outfit. For instance:

I got tons on compliments for the scarf, made by the amazingly talented winnie! Her craftsmanship is unbelievable!!! Each stitch is so super even! This lady in the bilingual office loved the scarf so much. She said that in her country (Peru, but she's japanese), that stitch is called rice stitch because it looks like rice. :) She's such a cute little lady.

So many people have been telling me to teach them to knit at school. I've thought about starting a crafts club. I would love to have crafts sessions. :)

The earrings are made by the creative linda! I got TONS of compliments on these!

The funny part is the boys trying to hit on me. Cracks me up. It's neat to see how much they try to please me. For example, they bring me food everyday. They know I love to eat and eat A LOT, so they bring me all sorts of stuff.

Last week when we went on a field trip, I didn't bring money and they were EXCITED to spot me. The boy who ended up spotting me was so proud when he ordered two number ones.

Then yesterday, one of my most gangsta guys comes up to me and says, "Ms. T! I saw Physics this weekend!!! I saw Newton's 1st law!! I have two turtles and I was going to feed them. I had a lot to carry so I put the food on top of another box I was carrying. (He demonstrates) When I stopped walking, the food continued to move and fell. That's Newton's 1st Law! Things in motion stay in motion!"

Another boy heard and joined in, "Oh yeah, I saw Newton's 1st law too this weekend! A skateboarder was skating when his skateboard hit a rock. The skateboard got stuck but he kept flying!" These are such proud moments for a teacher.

Another proud moment was when we were on the field trip, another teacher asked me how a helicopter worked (that morning, there was a bomb threat and a riot at my school so news helicopter was flying all over while we evacuated). I told her to ask any of my physics students cuz they better know how to answer. She asked the closest Physics student she saw, and AP student, and she couldn't answer. She asked another AP student and she also didn't know. So I look around for one of my students. I call the first person I see, who happens to be one of my C students. I call him over and the teacher asks him again and he easily answered the question! woohoo! offense p :p

The only other thing that happened recently was going to snow summit on sunday. The snow was awesome!!! I haven't seen snow like the in so cal in years! I got to hit some little jumps on this trip. I want to catch more air though. That's my next goal. :D I wonder when I'll be able to hit the rails. Oh yeah, we tried the half pipe at mt. high last time we went. :P

1 1 . 1 5 . 0 4 | 1 0 : 2 6 p m
We went to mammoth for the weekend and wow, what an amazing weekend! We forgot the camera on day 1, so no pics, but we got some good pics on day two. We took the gondola up to the very top (11,053 ft) and got some cool pics.

I then made a slideshow to show my students and even turned it into a lesson! My physics students had to calculate my average speed and my Integrated science students had to tell me how these mountains formed (earth sci).

So here's the slide show I showed them:
Since we have season passes, i want to go to as many trips to mammoth as possible. :) And I have vacation Jan and Feb, so I hope to go A LOT! Ideally, I want to set up as many trips as possible with different groups (cuz i doubt anyone would want to go as often unless they also have season passes).

1 0 . 2 9 . 0 4 | 0 6 : 2 6 p m
Guess what I did yesterday!!! I even surprised myself. So couple of the teachers that just went off-track have been planning a vegas trip. I already knew that I didn't want to go because I was did not want to take any sick days.

On Tuesday night, P IM'ed me if I was going. My answer was a very clear "no". I had no desire to go and no desire to call in sick. So on Wednesday at nutrition, JT tried to convince me to go. It sounded really nice to just leave and seeing all these teachers ready to go off track made me crave a vacation, but I did not have the means to go.

Soon after, P asked me if I wanted to go for one day and come back. That sounded so fun to just spontaneously leave on a trip like that, but I was so unprepared. Department chair, JT, and A were trying to get me to go, but they were leaving immediately after school was out. I told them I had no clothes and have nothing. They told me to just buy clothes there. That sounded fun.

In the end, I agreed to go. I put together last minute sub plans by taking a quiz from P and making copies of them for my Physics class. I skipped out of school early since I have 6 period conference, went home to packed, and P came and picked me up and off we went.

We arrived to vegas after 11pm. There was mad traffic on the 15!! It took us 3 hours to go from SGV to the 15/215!! It usually takes us an hour to get to Mt. High, which is even further than that!

We arrived there sleepy, but was determined to party and get pissed ass drunk. A opened a bottle of bacardi and we took shots before heading out to Ghost Bar. I drank 3 long islands, a shot of tequilla, shot of bacardi, and a shot of something this guy gave me. He just handed it to me and said, "here, take this."

That guy who gave me the shot had this friend who was about the shove a dollar down me when I have C a lap dance. I think it was C. I saw the dollar and fell down on the seat cracking up... I think I freaked out. I could've had a dollar! haha.

Anyway, so the bar closed and none of us were aware. The whole staff ended up surrounding us to get us to leave. Two guys ended up following us and tried to take JT and I with them. Good thing A was being the mom and helped me stumbled back into the room.

At this point, I guess it was clear that I was drunk off my ass. I swear I was okay though, but I guess I wasn't walking very well. We get back into the room and I go into the bathroom. I locked the door and went to pray to the porcelain gods. Not to yak, but just to rest cuz I couldn't sit up. I laid there resting on the toilet. I was not very coherent at all. I eventually yacked!!

Why is it such a big deal?! Because it is my first time yacking from alcohol!!! I'm usually really good, but I didn't eat all day. I had a granola bar for breakfast and a cracker for lunch. I remember hearing A on the phone telling someone, "she's locked herself in the bathroom and we can't get her to open the door!" I remember telling them to just go away, leave me alone, and that I'm okay.

At one point, I thought A got a key and was about to open the door, so I hurried to the door knob to lock it, but since I couldn't hold myself up, I ended up grabbing the handle, which unlocked the door and that's when they barged in. I was knocked down onto the floor and just laid there.

It felt good to just lay on the cool bathroom tile, but they carried me up and brought me to bed. Someone pulled off my boots and I remember a lot of people being on top of me trying to get me to fall asleep.

I didn't want to sleep so I kept talking. Eventually, I felt like yaking again so I called for a trashcan. A trash can was rushed over to the bedside and I just rested my forehead on the edge of the can yaking. P reminded me that I kept saying, "why me?! I can't believe it's me with my head in the trashcan this time!!!"

P said my talking started to slur more and spaced out more until it eventually stopped. As they put it, I fell "asleep"... aka passed out. At that point, they left and went to gamble. The next day, JD pointed out that I was left on my back. lol now that i'm alive.

I woke up at 7 the next day saying, "I have to call in sick! The job number is #####." I woke up drunk off my ass but still remembered the one time job number for this particular absence. JT called in for me pretending to be me. And then P called in right after (with the same phone?). Today I was joking at how funny it would be if I had called in and said, "Hi, this is Ms. T. I'm calling in sick. Oh, and here's Mr. L" and pass him the phone to call in sick, and then keep passing the phone around.

It's so bad that a bunch of teachers called in sick to go get drunk and high, but it'll be something I remember when I look back to my teaching days. ^_^

wow, this was a LOOOONG entry. Anyway, I also knitted my first blythe sweater!

1 0 . 2 6 . 0 4 | 0 5 : 2 6 p m
I may be getting somewhat of my old life back. I did minimal work related stuff this weekend and even had time to sew two dresses!! Look!

I even got to hang out Friday night with L, my favorite crafting buddy. Hanging out with her that night inspired me to get on the sewing machine again. After whipping out one dress, I had to make another just in case I don't get to sew for awhile.

And this week, I've been doing all my grading while students are working, so I may have no grading to do this weekend! yay! I even have been coming home earlier and have been online more often. I may be finding a good balance.

As I told L, it's either that I'm getting the hang of it, or I just don't care anymore. haha. I used to really freak out if I didn't have a PERFECT lesson planned. After a talk w/ S, I realized that it doesn't matter all that much. The students will survive. So now I just kind of plan and wing things. For my one freshman class that I really don't have time to plan for, I often plan at lunch time, right before they come in. But I'm okay with it now.

I used to put so much pressure on myself to be a perfect teacher, and I can't say that I now don't care about being perfect at all. But I'm making a conscious effort to not care about being perfect, pleasing others, and stressing myself out about standardized testing and what admininstrators think and crap. :)

1 0 . 0 5 . 0 4 | 0 9 : 4 6 p m
Thanks to all those who came to my birthday party! Thank you J for planning it!!! I love opportunities to drink! hehe... and I love getting drunk too. :D I didn't get drunk though. Buzzed, yes. Drunk, no.

I have all these things I want to write about, but just don't have the time and convienience to blog it. I've also been considering retiring I wonder if I'll miss it. I really haven't been updating it at all, and my mind is really elsewhere now.

So what's happened since I last wrote? Well, last week alone I suspended 3 students and a student of mine who had just gotten out of jail for two days pulled out a razor blade in class. But since I easily spend 12 hours at work, I'm going to try to avoid talking about school right now.

I went bowling with some fellow teachers. Took some tequilla shots with them, especially Ta. Then had more drinks at the bowling alley and went drunk bowling. Ta and I high-fived and she missed my hand and jabbed me in the eye. My eye was throbbing so much that I didn't feel the huge cut she left on my forehead. Fun times. Fun times. I love being buzzed, especially after a long week of work.

hm... what else? It's pretty sad how most of my life is work. I can't help it though because teaching is one of those jobs you almost always end up bringing home. Hopefully it'll get easier.

I have so little down time for myself. When I finally get some down time, my entire self just shuts down. My brain completely shuts off. I just sit there, space out, and enjoy the rare silence... like I'm doing now. *continues to listen to the sweet silence*

0 9 . 1 1 . 0 4 | 1 1 : 2 6 p m
I've been working such crazy hours. 12 hour days are normal for me, and 2-3 days out of the week I'll even be there for 14-15 hours... and this is not including my drive. I only live 20 miles away, but both times when I left school at 8:30 PM, it still took me AN HOUR to get home!! What's up with that?!

But I'm lovin' work. The kids are great. However, they do tell me interesting stories that initially stumped me. The first case was this:
me: You look upset. Is everything okay?
student: No. There was a shoot out last night on my street.
me: Whoa. What happened?
student: I suddenly heard a bunch of shots and then a bunch of people knocked on my door. They're after my homeboy, so everyone ran into my house to hide. They'll be back to find him though.
I guess that just hit me off guard and I didn't know what I should say. Then the next day, I had another conversation that looked like this:

me: So how was your weekend?
student: I got pulled over and almost got shot.
me: Whoa! What'd you get pulled over for?!
student: For walking! I was walking down the street with my son and my cousin. A cop comes from behind and thought we had a gun and made us pull up our shirts. My cousin was busy eating his ice cream and didn't notice, so he didn't pull up his shirt so the cops pulled out their guns at us.
another student: Was this at night?
student: No, it was in broad daylight! we joke about the "probable cause" -- daylight and w/ his son
student: Then the next day I was walking to the store w/ my cousin and these gangstas pulled out a gun on us. This was just a block away from school.
This second situation was spoken of lightly and he laughed when he told us, so that was easier to deal with. (pames, you know this student.) In the first situation, the student was very worried and I just felt helpless that I couldn't help her.

One of my fellow teachers just told me that our school is an only Bloods school. All of the other surrounding schools are crips. More murders occur within a one-mile radius of our school than the entire state!!! Most people think I'm crazy for staying until 8:30 alone in south central LA, but there's usually another teacher who's staying too.

I went to my very first football game of this school. It's amazing to see what a big deal it is. They charge $6 for the games... and still the bleachers are completely full!!! Lucky for me, teachers get in free. :D I got to meet one of my students' mom. That was nice. I have 4 students in JV and a bunch in varsity, so it was really cool to go out and see them outside of the classroom. Our JV kicked Compton HS's butt, and our varsity creamed Compton 35 to 0. I've never been into high school football before cuz my high school sucked (I only went when I had to perform), but it's different when it's my student's out there. It was fun hanging out with my department and SLC people (wishing there was liquor) and seeing my students.

Okay, time to work again. What's up with the heat?!?!

0 9 . 0 4 . 0 4 | 0 61: 5 6 p m
I'm currently going through a transition in life. It's definately a new stage in life for me that I'm transitioning into and it will take some time for me to reintegrate aspects of the previous stage into the new one.

I got engaged, a new computer, and started a new my first job. I didn't think it would change my life, but it has. I felt like it was a start of a new and was a good time to make some resolutions.

My "new life" resolution was to stop acquiring junk and to save money. I've been doing good, but I don't know if I could take credit for it though cuz it could just be because I'm too busy to spend money and collect junk now.

I started teaching last week and my body was totally not used to the hours. I never had to wake up at 5am every morning before. And even though school is out at 3:30, I was staying until 7 or 8 pm. I got sick after my second day and spent the entire weekend sleeping it off. This is the first time since I started working where I had some down time to reflect, and it's my first time realizing that I'm going through a transition.

I'm finally getting adjusted and I'm not staying as late. The earliest I've left so far was at 4, which was only once. I'm trying to get my planning done earlier so I don't have to freak out the day before.

I have 6 period prep, so I've been setting up for the next day during that time. It's tough teaching 2 subjects. I find that I mainly prepare for my Physics class, and then I figure out what I'm going to do for my freshmans during lunch since I have them right after lunch.

I need to save money for a wedding and a house. Anyone have investing advice for me? I signed up with a company to make my first investment into my 403(b), but I totally didn't even research them so i hope I didn't make a mistake. It was a small amount anyway since I want to put the bulk into saving for a wedding and house and not my retirement just yet.

I calculated online today when I will save up my first million. If I continue to save as planned, I will have my first million during my fourties. But that's assuming I won't withdraw, and I will be withdrawing it for the wedding and house. Combined w/ J's income, we'll have our million when I'm 39... but again, we'll be withdrawing for our wedding and house, but it was fun to calculate anyway.

One million sounds so little for saving for so many years. My goals are probably too big cuz everytime I get paid, the checks seem SO small to me. I told J that I need checks that are for $10K each time to mean anything to me. haha. Cuz I know how quickly I could spend couple thousand dollars. Funny though how now that I work, I just can't spend the money as easily as I did.

Before I worked, it was so easy to spend money that I didn't have. Sucks though cuz half of my first paycheck went into paying off the debt I acquired the couple weeks before I started working. And after seeing a huge chunk going into credit card payments, I've stopped spending.

I can't even buy more blythes now. Oh well, good thing we already collected over 20. heehee.

Yeah, so I'm looking for a place to invest my money. Any suggestions?
the rest