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blah blah blah... talk too much
I really do... take that as your warning.

0 4 . 2 9 . 0 4 | 0 2 : 3 6 p m
So I get an IM this morning from dorothee, but dorothee doesn't have AIM at work!!
me: no work?
her: nope, took the day off.. you? no work?
me: took two days off :)
me: i like this work thing
Another conversation I found ironic in the end:
*I dug through my mom's shopping bags and found a barbie*
me: Who's this for? Is it someone's birthday?
mom: Yeah, it's amy's birthday
me: oh... is she too old for dolls?
mom: she's turning 10. aren't YOU too old for dolls?
Okay, so my mom didn't say that last part, but I was thinking that right after I asked if that girl was too old for dolls. Yes, I am addicted... Thanks, Linda. teehee. I'm thinking about selling off a bunch of my stuff again to make up for all that I've bought recently.

So which school to pick?!?! I think I'm leaning towards school one. I really don't look forward to the drive and the waking up, but I there's just some attachment I have to that place. I just worry that if I'm picking school one just because of the attachment, what if I can get that same attachment at school two after awhile. It's hard to just go by attachment when school one has an unfair advantage since I've been teaching there. So I guess it really comes down to a school I'm attached to, but SUCKY drive and sucky hours, or a school that I have no attachment to, but good drive and better hours. hm...

0 4 . 2 8 . 0 4 | 1 0 : 2 6 p m
I signed a contract with LAUSD last friday and I narrowed my choice of schools down to two... but now I can't decide which school to pick!!! The first school is the school I'm currently at, which I really like and will have some sort of senority over other new teachers. The second school is where my best friend in the program ended up signing, which I also like a lot. The two schools are so different that it's really difficult to compare. I'm just going to compare the two schools side by side and maybe I'll have a decision when I'm done.

School I'm at nowOther school
- Fast pace-ness of being in the inner city (smack center of south central LA)
- Has African American students that I've really enjoyed working with
- Free Laptop and LCD projector
- Flat tables guaranteed (great for group work)
- The vacation time that comes with working at a year round school
- Lots of UCLA people there (allies & support)
- Full time literacy coach on staff (awesome support)
- Lots of convenient ways to work more hours for pay
- Students have an in class set of books and one to keep at home
- Several Physics teachers there (support)
- Nice longer periods (65 minutes)
- Own classroom for the semester (no traveling)
- Very NEEDY school, so students will soak up anything you give them. They're hungry for teachers who care.
- Traditional calender school (so I will not need to move classes at the end of a semester, but not guaranteed from year to year)
- More housing options (actually nearby places I can potentially move to)
- Less traffic-y drive
- My best friend's there
- Actually some Asians in that school
- Lots of AP courses offered that I can take on when I'm ready
- They also have opportunities for extra hour/pay, but not as convenient because you need to get prior approval first.
- Supportive title one coordinator to get field trip funding and other funding
- Said I can request for flat tables, but not guaranteed
- School is from 8 - 3 (I would wake up at 6)
- School is from 7:30 - 3:30
- I will have to wake up at 5am!!!
- I have to sit through downtown LA traffic!!!
- Low possibility of moving near the school
- Extra work opportunities and tables are not convinient and require prior approval
- I may not get my own classroom after my first year (be a traveling teacher)
- School doesn't seem as needy. They seem pretty well off
- Lacks that "umph"... too slow paced?
- Didn't get good impression of the other person who will be teaching Physics

Going purely by feeling, I want to go with the school I'm currently at. I love the students, I love being in the inner city, and I just feel good being there. But I don't know if I'll get tired of the trafficy drive. I don't know if I'll grow out of liking the fast pace. What if I can't handle waking up at 5 every morning just to get to school by 7?! And what if my friend and I drift apart after going to separate schools? Both places have really supportive administrators and great things going on.

I have this attachment to school one (either because I've been teaching there, I have established relationships with students, or my gut is telling me that it is the school for me... or all of the above). But I don't want to go purely on emotions so I'm trying to be objective too, because the reality of it is that I will have to wake up at 5 am and sit through horrible traffic two times a day. Am I ready for that? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Or will the cons overshadow the pros? I could be happy at school two too. Less traffic, better hours, ...but I may feel bored with the slow paced-ness of the area. Felt too close to home or something. I fear that it would be too stagnant for me. What to do?! What to do?! I told the principal at school two that I would have a decision by next week. help!

0 4 . 2 3 . 0 4 | 1 2 : 3 6 p m
My dad just came back from up north to visit that friend that got arrested. 6 friends and family put up their houses to meet her 2 million dollars bail. Yes, HER. I mistakenedly assumed HIM in my prior post, but just learned that this person is actually a female. Not that it should make any difference. :P

I asked my dad if they were afraid that she would flee to vietnam or something but he said he trust her. He said she has good character and wouldn't do such a thing. I hope so. He also shared all the shaddy business going on, especially with the actual owner of the supermarket. Him and his wife need 10 million dollars for bail, and if it's done by putting up homes, they need 20 million. My dad said that the owner is shaddy so no one is willing to risk it with him.

Welp, I gotta get ready for my interview! Wish me luck!

0 4 . 2 1 . 0 4 | 1 1 : 4 6 p m
I pray that Winnie finds comfort and peace. Words can't even begin to express what I'm feeling right now. It's like losing your child. Rest in Peace, Snowie.

0 4 . 1 9 . 0 4 | 0 7 : 3 6 p m
I've been spending money like mad. Must control myself. I bought two more dolls last week and a SUPER CUTE suitcase to hold my dolls in.
I did good bargining for that suitcase too! :) I was able to knock off 25% of the original asking cost... and had fun doing it too! haha. I was going to post the conversation/tactic, but I'm starving and I need to EAT!

0 4 . 1 3 . 0 4 | 0 4 : 3 8 p m
This week has been MUCH better. I was going mad last week with the lesson planning, so I told myself that I would have the whole week planned out by Sunday. We studied and talked about backwards planning so much, and it all seemed so intuitive and obvious, but I didn't realize how much TIME it would save as well! I actually had some time to sew again and overall, I'm much happier.

As part of the process of getting our teaching credential, we have to do this thing that involves videotaping. Everyone in my program has been teaching for months now. I got a late start because I chose to work with Track A (year round school) while everyone else either did a traditional calender school or Track B or C. So it's only my second week teaching and I ended up being the one who gets filmed this week. (one person shares a clip of their teaching each week) So I get to go next when I've only been teaching for a week. That's not the point though cuz I think it'll be okay.

This goes back to my accent thing. Maybe a year ago I wrote about how I hate my accent. I never noticed I had an accent because I grew up with a bunch of asians and latinos, so I guess you can say we all had "accents". I was one of the few who were actually born here, so I was considered pretty "white-washed" and Americanized. My first year in college was when I realized that I had an accent because my dorm-mates would make fun of me when I said, "birfday... middle eartf... wif..." I couldn't hear it at first but after I was able to distinguish the 'th' and the 'f' sound, I made a conscious effort to change it.

I eventually forgot about the whole accent thing and it stopped bugging me. Although I would notice anytime someone would say the 'f' sound instead of 'th', I didn't really care about my own accent. Something happened last year (maybe the AI auditions?) that made me all self conscious of my accent again. I hate that feeling. I remember being really bothered by it and started to feel inferior, but I eventually forgot about it.

Today, I watched the video of me teaching and I hear myself speaking again. Boy I hate the way I speak. I have this certain way of talking that bugs me. I guess it has been defined by society that certain accents just sound inferior. One good(?) thing is that although I did notice the way I speak, it didn't really bother me. Seeing myself/hearing myself talk today didn't bug me like it used to. I guess that's progress.

0 4 . 1 0 . 0 4 | 0 4 : 0 6 p m

Me sporting my new scarf from Winnie!

Look at the amazing craftsmenship!!!
I love my new scarf!! The texture is so bubbly! I had fun running around the house in it... until it got too warm. :P It will definately be my best friend when winter rolls around again! Thanks, Winnie!!

So my goal was to lesson plan for the entire week today. uh... it's already 4 and I haven't done a drop of lesson planning. hm... sew or lesson plan? I figure if I could get lesson planning out of the way now, I'll have more free time during the week to sew. (yeah right, extra time just means more time to lesson plan.)

Just sewed little miss bella a bunny outfit! :)

0 4 . 0 9 . 0 4 | 0 3 : 0 6 a m
Lesson planning has been killing me. I stayed up until 5 the past two nights planning. I actually finished early today (like 20 minutes ago), but I still stayed up browsing around for more dolls. :P I hope lesson planning gets faster cuz staying up like this is killing me. I'm going to try to plan the whole weeks stuff this weekend so I can have more time to craft. I haven't done any sort of craft since Monday!!! (unless you consider creating Physics lab a craft. I guess can be...) I feel so incomplete not having my creativity fix. Actually, coming up with Physics activities does require creativity (thank goodness), so I don't feel so oppressed, but some time to sew or bead would be nice.

Teaching is also such a thankless job. *sigh*

0 4 . 0 6 . 0 4 | 0 2 : 0 6 a m
Happy Birthday, Annie!!! (2 hours and 16 minutes late. oops!) So I have conqured my very first day of teaching today!! Things actually went well. Of course there are room for improvement, but overall, it went really well. Lesson planning is definately taking a lot more time than I had imagined. boo. I want more time to craft!! Okay, gotta catch those z's!

Oh yeah, I had a good Saturday. :) I love girls day out!! Thanks you two! ;)

0 4 . 0 4 . 0 4 | 1 1 : 2 6 p m
So around a week ago, my dad was informed that his friend was arrested. Apparently, the friend used to work at a supermarket years ago. The supermarket is actually owned by a former classmate of my dad's. They just got busted by the IRS and through that audit, they went all the way back and saw that my dad's friend did the book keeping several years ago and arrested him too. So the owners of the market (husband & wife) are on $5 million dollar bail each and the friend is on $1 million bail.

I actually posted about this last week cuz I was concerned about my dad chipping in, but decided not to post cuz I started to doubt that they would ask friends for money. Now my dad just told me that they're all going up north to be in court with him when he tries to post bail. I asked my dad if he was chipping in and he said, "yeah, but the court will return the bail money after." $1 million dollars is A LOT of money. We're not wealthy at all either, my dad's just really generous. I just don't want him to shove up a bunch of money for this guy to hang around, only to get locked up again. (I believe he's going down. I don't forsee the judge giving him a break.)

Plus I asked my dad if they got the whole million dollars (a bunch of people put their houses up) and he doesn't think so. He said that their plan is to get a bunch of his friends go to court so the judge will possibly let him go for less cuz he'll be moved by all the friends and family support. I'm mainly concerned because I heard that if you don't post the whole bail, then you don't get it back? Is that true?

I feel so mean, but this is where I'm coming from: I would do everything within reason for friends and family, but one million dollar is not within reason. Next, he's most likely going down, so why drag all his friends and family down with him in outrageous debt? I figure you'd want to put all that money into lawyer fees instead. Then, I don't know this guy, so how do I know he's not going to flee?! If he flees, everyone's screwed up! Don't get me wrong, I'm all about supporting him, but within reason. If I was in his shoes and knew that I would be going down, I don't want to drag anyone else down with me. Just help me get a good lawyer.

Oh yeah, I started another blog just dedicated to my dolls. I figure people get scared from them, so I won't post it here. :) If you're not afraid to big headed & big eyes dolls, then click here to see the first two outfits I sewed for her!!

0 4 . 0 3 . 0 4 | 0 4 : 4 9 a m
I went into DSW shoe store today with no plans of buying anything (I already have over 100 pairs of shoes!). I was just going to walk through it to see what they have. I ended up buying 3 pairs. They're really cute though! Plus, I ended up joining their club thing where you get a $25 gift certificate for every $250 you spend! Plus, I charged it on my Discover for the cash back bonus, so there are so many incentives that I'm reaping! *sigh* I know I am a shoe addict, but I like this addiction!

I'm meeting up with two of my favorite online buddies (not sure if meeting is supposed to be hush hush so they shall remain anonymous) tomorrow for breakfast at 9:30 am and I'm still up! I'm just nocturnal. Of course when 9:30 was suggested as the meeting time, I could only think -- "9:30?!?!" But once I'm up, I really do enjoy it. I love feeling productive and I love the feeling of getting a lot of stuff done in the morning. It's just rolling out of bed that I struggle with. I have a lot to do with preperations for school, so I need to get my lazy ass out of bed.... being up at 5 in the morning doesn't help my case though, huh? Oh well, I love being the only one awake. I get a lot of work done at night because there are less distractions.
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