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blah blah blah... talk too much
I really do... take that as your warning.


0 2 . 2 9 . 0 4 | 0 2 : 2 6 a m
hm... I just took this test that J got from Luckykat. It's actually a really interesting test. The test determined that I am The Maid of Honor (DGLMf) and it determined J to be The Vapor Trail (RBLMm)... and according to this test, we are EXACTLY who each other should ALWAYS AVOID! interesting... Sure, it may be "just another test", but I do find some truth in some of these test. The only thing that surprises me is that the main reason why the test think that J and I should avoid each other IS the same reason why we believe we work out well together. If you have couple minutes (no more than 5!), do me a favor and take the test and let me know how accurate it is for you (and share your results if you don't mind!). :D

0 2 . 2 9 . 0 4 | 1 2 : 5 6 a m
Some results from my recent obsession: :)




I *LOVE* my new boots and bindings!!!! I went snowboarding locally today and conditions haven't been that good in a LONG time! Did I mention that I *LOVE* my new boots and bindings?! :) It's so responsive, comfy, and makes snowboarding practically effortless! It took me three runs with my new setup before I felt comfortable enough with them to hit the jumps again, but once I adjusted to them, they're so awesome! :D I'm not even sure what's the best part... never having to tie laces again, the comfy-ness, the responsiveness, the convenience AND performance of my bindings and boots... I'm darn happy. :) I'm sure any of you riders out there can relate to my happiness with never having to tear up my fingers from tying up laces in the freezing cold ever again! yippee!! I just turn this dial to tighten my boots, step into my bindings and lock in the highback. *sigh* Oh what I've been missing out on. I used to use K2 clickers, so it's not like I'm not used to stepping in and going, but these are way easier to get into!

Okay, going to continue sewing my current project: 5 bridesmaid dresses and a flower girl dress.

0 2 . 2 3 . 0 4 | 0 3 : 0 6 p m
This is waaay overdue (about 2 weeks overdue!). So about a week or two ago, I received the most exciting package in my mailbox! It was my DUCKIE NECKLACE from super talented Dena!!! She even has the cutest buisness card too!!


You can see some of her other cool creations at her website. If you're having trouble reading the card and interested in contacting her, you can email her at BreezeyBeads[at]yahoo[dot]com. It took me so long to take this picture because it's been so cold that I haven't been wearing anything low cut that would show off the necklace well. So I ended up just taking it topless. =0 *gasp*

Speaking of beading, after seeing L's and Dena's work, I became so inspired to try my hand at beading. I went to a bead store w/ Linda, but I was just TOTALLY OVERWHELMED!! I had no idea where to begin, so I just dropped the idea.

So Valentine's Day then comes around and guess what J got me for Valentine's... beading stuff!! He bought me all the stuff I needed to get started, like the pliers and stuff. But most importantly, he did the research for me. :) He had beadboy help him with getting started. He basically bought me everything I needed... except the beads! He was too overwhelmed with all the beads, so he decided to just get me everything else but the beads. ooo it was such a tease!! It was like having a PS2 with no games! But on Monday (president's day), he took me to downtown and I was able to get a bunch of beads. I didn't get that much though because I thought it was pricey... plus I didn't know what exactly I wanted. Then on Wednesday, I went to a bead store in Westwood and EEK!! It was SUPER EXPENSIVE!! Everything was priced per bead!! So on Thursday, I went back to downtown and spent another $80 on beads. ugh...

Being that 1) I like to carry my craft stuff around, 2) I like to carry stuff around in style and 3) sewing is my forte, I had to make myself something to carry my beading stuff around with. hehe... I'm sure you had to have seen this coming! haha...




One side is compartmentalized for my pliers and the other side was originally for my bead containers, but I have too many now, so it's to carry other stuff like the different spools of wires and any other stuff that doesn't fit in the bead box. I'm going to make a matching purse to carry all my bead containers. And wa-la! I have a convienient and portable craft now! hehe...

0 2 . 2 0 . 0 4 | 0 5 : 2 6 p m
N: I have a headache. It's probably because I'm about to get my period.
Me: Oh, you get headaches before your period? I don't think I do.
N: Yeah, whenever I tell my dad I have a headache, he just says, "oh, you're just about to get your period."
Me: *gasp* My dad would NEVER mention about the period!
N: My dad's a science teacher, so I grew up with sperm, egg, *claps her hands together* zygote.
Me: *lol* My dad has never, and never will, mention that stuff.
N: Yeah, my dad's just like that. Whenever I tell him I have pain on either side of my abdomen, he'll just ask, "Are you in between cycles?... (nods yes) oh, you're just ovulating."
Me: It hurts when you ovulate?!?!
N: Yeah, cuz that egg has to burst out of there.
Me: whoa...
3 minutes later, I feel a sudden sharp pain that pulsed three times on my left side. I wanted to ask N if the pain from ovulating is sudden and quick like that, or if she meant long cramping feeling, but class had started up again, so I didn't want to interrupt. Last night (2 days later), I had a horrible headache. I thought I was getting sick. I lied in bed hugging my head until I fell asleep.

This morning, I woke up with this feeling that I was about to start my period right at that moment. Sure enough, it's here. Having been on the pill for the last couple years, I knew exactly which day I would get it. I just didn't know what time. I got really good at telling when I was about to get it minutes before, but I never had to pay attention to the signs that occured days before. Now that I'm no longer on the pill, I can never tell when I'm about to get it until minutes before... and all I can do then is hope that tanpons are available. I'm curious to see if the ovulating pain and headaches are consistent from now on! If it is, I have more advanced notice now! If it's not, then this is super coincidental!

0 2 . 1 3 . 0 4 | 1 2 : 4 6 a m
Today I went to FHS to meet with the Science department chair. I arrive just before 11. After signing in at the front gate, I was told to check in with the office first. At this point, I usually bypass the office process and just go straight to the teacher, but my advisor didn't know what room this teacher was in and told me that he's currently off track (meaning he's not teaching, thus not in a room). So I go into the office to have them call the teacher just to make sure he's there and that he's okay with meeting with me. She calls the Science office and no one answers... so she asks me to just sit in the office to wait for this guy.

uh... you mean just sit here and hope that he comes in?? The lady kept insisting that this teacher comes in the office "everyday" (shoot, doesn't all teachers come into the office everyday?) and that I should just sit there and wait. I sit there and half an hour passes. I go bug the lady again to call, but she said she can't call. wtf? She says that she doesn't have his cell phone number, so there's no way to contact him. She was really unhelpful and made it quite obvious that she did not want to help me.

I was tempted to leave, but I was already there and my class wasn't till 2, so I sat around some more. Now an hour has gone by and I walk up to her again. She gives me this I-don't-know look. I ask if I could just go up to his room to see if he's there. She pauses, then tells me that she can't let me walk on the campus. argh...

So what happened in the end? I waited around for 2 hours... and I never got to see him! When it turned one, I asked her again if she could call his room, and this is when she finally informs me that HIS room doesn't have a phone. (??) Why doesn't the department chair have a phone??

Then on my way out, a group of Latino boys start to make racical comments at me as I pass by. It really didn't register until I passed them, so I just kept walking. I was too pissed off at the office so I knew it would be best if I just ignored the boys or else I would end up displacing my anger on the boys.

Please don't judge urban schools just from my rantings. There are a lot of good things going on and there are great kids too. Many of these issues can also be found in any bureaucracy. Every school has it's pros and cons.

< Warning > The following are just some thoughts that ran through my head today (and intermittenly in the past couple months). Please don't go reading into this and making judgements.< /Warning >
I used to be really involved in various outreach and non-profit organizations that catered specifically to the needs of the Asian community. After going to college, I went for a more diverse experience. I've always enjoyed helping, volunteering, and making a difference, so the UCLA Teacher Education Program seemed very natural for me. I used to do outreach in various urban schools in LA and enjoyed it very much. Although our program has a social justice agenda, I think I'm more on the extreme side of the social justice continuum. I realized that I learned A LOT more than many of the people in the program requarding inequities, institutionalized discrimination, etcetera, so I was very gung ho about going into these schools.

I'm currently taking a class about Asian Americans and the educational issues they face. My passion and interest on the Asian community started to spark again and I started to have thoughts about where my service would make the most impact. I just started to think about my experience with the Asian communities and realize that I have a lot of strengths and passion there, but I didn't think it was a big deal. Today, while I was sitting at the FHS office for 2 hours, I noticed how excluded I felt. The office workers were 100% African American females. Teachers who walked in and out varied between Whites, African Americans, and Latinos. I was pretty much invisible, but it's not like I was expecting them to talk to me or anything. Anyway, so while in the office, I just felt like such an outsider. The ladies didn't give a crap about me. The assistant principal saw me sitting there for 2 hours and heard my coversation with the secretary but didn't give a crap. She just commented that she's waiting for that teacher to come by herself. They ladies in the office were chatting the whole time and I just couldn't identify with what they were talking about. They even continued on with their conversation while I was trying to talk to one of the secretary. I also observed the interactions that the ladies had with the teachers that came in and I just couldn't see myself interacting in that method. And then the racial comments compounded on top of that didn't help.

After my class, I told H (who's a Korean female from the La Canada area) that I'm getting these guilty thoughts. I'm just getting these thoughts that I could be SO MUCH more impactful to an Asian community. I feel like I have so much more to offer them that most teachers cannot... you know what I mean? I consider myself to be a good teacher. I know I can bring great lessons into the classes and I have a lot of stratagies to increase literacy, math skills, science skills, and personal developement. We have even gone over stratagies of increasing diversity awareness and incorporating the students cultures in the lesson. I feel like I have these stratagies down, and can implement these stratagies with ease, but I feel like I have this extra resource that I've acquired through my experience, a resource that no teacher education program can teach, that I can bring into an Asian community and make a huge impact. I think about the resources I've gained through my experiences and how it gives me this advantage that no teacher education program can give anyone who never went through similar experiences. I start to realize that that may be true with me going into South LA. No matter how much I study about these communities and ways of working with their special needs, I'll never feel like I can make as strong of an impact. But I feel guilty for thinking this way... I feel like I'm another person who's giving up on these needy urban schools.

I dunno... I will just go for it and do my best to make a positive impact. I'm prolly just rationalizing since I fear failure. Being a perfectionist, I don't like to feel inadequate. I've been working on accepting imperfection and not expecting perfection. The best advice I got was from my Physics professor my very last quarter in college. He told me, "It's okay to be a perfectionist. But you have to pick and choose. Perfect only the things you CAN perfect and learn to just let some things go."
On a more happy note, for the first time in my entire life, I finally have cable!!! It's funny because I grew up with the understanding that we couldn't afford cable. I always thought that anyone with cable was rich. I used to love going to my cousin's house just so I could watch Captin Kangaroo and other cool stuff on Nickelodeon. As recent as couple years ago, I finally got the chance to hold the remote control of a TV with cable. Every single time, I would go channel surfing: channel 999, channel 998, channel 997, channel 996... all the way to channel 2. I remember wishing for the day when my family would be able to afford cable... it would be such a mark of my family moving up in status. But when my dad approached me about getting cable last week, my immediate response was "no, we don't need it". I've learned to save money where I can from my dad, so when he comes to me and tells me that he wants to get cable AND hire someone to trim the avacado tree, my heart sank. As a child, I thought I would be happy because this would mean that my family moved up, but instead, I just feel like... my dad sold out? I dunno. It also makes me sad because I start to think that he's getting old too and cannot climb these big trees (he's fallen off more than once in the past couple years). I should feel happy that he won't have to climb it, but I don't want to face that he's getting old. And I still don't know why I was bummed about him getting cable, but I'm over it for the most part now since I got to come home to Nickelodeon today. :) I'm still bummed, but I don't understand why, so I'm pushing it to the back of my mind. *shurgs*

Thanks Linda and Winnie for the great girly talk last night! The Tofu and Kalbi was YUMMY, I got to go into a bead store for the very first time, and my Noir finally had a playmate! :D

0 2 . 0 9 . 0 4 | 0 8 : 1 6 p m
I'm on the same dsl plan that I originally signed up for back in 2000, which means I'm still paying the same rate, $50/month. Dell contacted me couple weeks ago telling me that they could get me cable for $35/month. I ended up calling SBC asking them to match the deal and they did. Damn... I should've called a long time ago!

Anyway, so to "upgrade" my internet, I was sent some cd to install. But to upgrade, they need my member id & password. uh... member id? "your member id is [memberid]@pacbell.net". That's of no help because when I signed up for dsl, I didn't need another email addy so I never signed up for an email through them. I call SBC to find out what my username & password is and complete the upgrade. At the end of the installation, they had a nice little screen with my pacbell email addy. I decide to add it to my outlook. Minutes later, I have 548 new messages in my mailbox, all spam! doh! I've been getting spam to an email that I didn't even know exist!!!

0 2 . 0 5 . 0 4 | 1 1 : 2 6 p m
I received this in the mail today!!

Thank you, Cyn!!! I love all her paintings, but this one is my FAVORITE!!!! (note: this picture really does not do the painting justice!) It's framed in a really cool bamboo frame! I LOVE IT!!! :D

0 2 . 0 4 . 0 4 | 0 5 : 3 6 p m
Time flies... I wish I had the power to stop time! Come to think of it, I find myself thinking this a lot. *sigh*

Anyway, I'll start off the new month by sharing these:

I woke up with broccoli sleeping on my back :)



LOL! I just watched these two videos from Midori that serously cracked me up! I was on the floor!
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