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I really do... take that as your warning.

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I don't have the driver to upload pics from the digital camera. I wanted to post pics from our semi-formal and my cooking. Yup, I said cooking! I'm suddenly in a cooking mood (so Donny, lets have our picnic soon!). I made curry yesterday, and poured it on brown rice. I like brown rice... and it's healthier. =) And I made Granola today! Yup, toasted my own oats and stuff. Trying to eat healthier... not in fat or calories wise, but just more balanced and trying to get whole grain stuff instead of enriched stuff. That's why I'm making my own stuff when I can. I took pictures of what I made today, but I didn't get to take pictures of what I made yesterday.

Since I can't get the new pictures from the camera, I'll just post a picture that I took couple weeks ago since Jonathan already uploaded it:
Here are my babies... and my main photography subjects. =)

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Woohoo! Our house is having a bumper pool tournament and everyone is in. I had no idea how to play, so Albert, the one I was up against in round one, taught me how to play. Albert, Rex, and Mohammed taught me how to play starting three weeks ago. They had to teach me down to how to hold the stick.

Albert and I have played several times, but most of the time is him coaching me. People always laugh because we're never playing for reals. Everyone gets excited when someone plays their tournament match, so they were hoping watch a game, but I keep saying, "it's only practice". We finally played for reals today and a bunch of people watched cuz it's about time.

Me and Albert during the competition.

Albert taught me well...

Woohoo! The winning shot!

It was a close, but great game. It was best out of five, and we played down to the fifth round. I won the first, he creamed me on the second, he won the third, I won the fourth... tied 2 to 2. And I barely won the fifth round with the help of Mohammed and Rex. As you can see, we were both down to one ball. He was very close to winning because we both had our last ball in the corner, so it would take each of us at the very least two turns to get the ball in, but it was his turn. So as you can see, at this point, he's suppose to win. But he went for a bumper shot (bounce it off the bumper), but was very unlucky cuz instead of reflecting off at an angel, it came right back to where he started. So how we're both in the corner and it's my turn. I took a safe shot and just hit my ball out of the corner. He went for a bumper shot again but didn't make it. So above is my victory shot. ...oh no, that means I have to play the next round! ah!

But it was such a great game. I love this house. The people are great. Albert has the best sportsmanship I've ever seen in a long time. He was still helping me eventhough we were competing. So I don't feel I really won because I had Rex and Mohammed's help, and even Alberts! But I won because I learned from the best! =D

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What a nice anniversary yesterday. We went to Fleming's last night. It's a steakhouse. Pretty good, but for around the same price ($30 steak), I'd rather go to Roy's, which is where we went for my birthday. Spent over $100 at both places, but Roy's is more worth it than Fleming's. Fleming's food is nothing different. The Filet Mignon was like any other Filet Mignon from decent steakhouses, such as Houston's. I got some King Salmon dish, but I could just pay half the price at Cheesecake Factory for their Miso Salmon. It was surprisingly yummy. Or I could spend one third the price and go to California Fish Grill by Jonathan's work, but I wouldn't get the atmosphere. Roy's at least had an exotic flavor, so I can at least feel like I'm paying more for something I can't get for cheaper.

So in conclusion, I wouldn't pay for Fleming's again, BUT I would go back for their Creme Brulee!!! It was the best I've ever had! My favorite used to be the one from Bellagio. I had them from several different places, but found Bellagio's to be the most yummy. But when I took my first bite from Fleming's Creme Brulee, I had a new favorite place for Creme Brulee! Jonathan and I couldn't put our finger on what made it so yummy, but we both agreed that it was the best Creme Brulee we've had.

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Happy Two-Year Anniversary, Jonathan!!!! Yup, it's been two years, although I feel like I've known him much longer. He's coming to visit today, so I'm super excited. Wonder what we're gonna do.

So I'm glad last week is all over with. It was such a bad week for me. UCLA interview, UCI grad school application due, semi-formal stuff, and whatever else I've already put out of my mind. I fell behind classes and even ditched four classes. I have a lot of catching up to do. I'm putting the finishing touches on my dress. Even if I finish my dress (oh yeah, it's the dress that I made last May for Alpha Phi's formal, but never finished it), I don't know if I'd want to wear it cuz it's a ball gown, and our event this Friday is only a semi-formal. It's coming together really well and the place is awesome. It's at Tangata at the Bowers Museum. Well, gotta go catch up on stuff before Jonathan gets here.

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I did it... I submitted my UCI application. Well, just the online portion. I just finished my statement of purpose and will need to ask a few people to read it over first. Then I need to finish the supplementary application (3 more essays, but should be easier than the statement of purpose), then bring the essays and letter of recs over. I hope I don't forget anything.

I got offered an interview for the Program Coordinator position at UCLA. So my interview is tomorrow evening. I have a very busy week this week. I can't wait until it's over.

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So I just spoke to my previous supervisor and she seems promising with my letter of rec. I have issues with my current supervisor. I feel like we're constantly bumping heads. We disagree about everything... or rather, she challenges me on everything I do. It's not like I don't know what I'm doing. She talks to me in this super condescending manner and what gets me the most is she talks with a happy, jolly tone, but her implications aren't so benign. She can't just straight forwardly say, "This is what I think, this is what I want you to do..." She beats around the bush and puts off this happy, easy-going attitude "oh, I don't really care", but that's not what she means at all! She'll then give this look... like she's testing you, "did you catch that? that's not what I really meant."

Anyway, I don't want to get in trouble for any of the content here, so I'll refrain, but if you ask me, I'll tell you. So I have basically two letters of rec now; one from a professor and one from a previous employer. Now for my third one, I would really like to get it from my teacher when I was in that science apprenticeship class (if you were reading my post back then, you know how horrible that experience was), but my teacher (not the one I was the apprenticeship for, but the instructor that lead the class for all the apprentices) really liked me and was really pushing me to go into the profession. So I gave her all the stuff over a month ago, but I haven't heard from her since. I know she's not a full time employee here and only teaches a class once a week here, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she'll follow through when she comes for her class tomorrow.

As backup, I have asked one of my old TAs to write one for me. I'm meeting with him tomorrow to take care of that. It would be nice to get a more current teacher and one pertaining to education, but if she doesn't pull through, I'll just need something. Maybe I could get her to do the UCLA one at least since that's due next month. I can't wait for this whole process to be over! I can then just relax and enjoy the last couple years of my undergrad.

**oohhh... oh how I wish I didn't have to hold back and just spill it all out! But I don't want to risk making this work environment any worse.**

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We finally got our Physics experiment to work! Yay! We just gotta let it collect data for like 3 days now. We're currently detecting muons in distilled water. After we're done with this, we will be detecting muons in salt water. So we're not even half way done yet, but it should go by much quicker now that we got the set up down.

I just picked up my first letter of recommendation. Just two more to go. I've asked six people total, but I only need three. We'll see. I will start on my statement of purpose tomorrow and make an appointment tomorrow for fingerprinting and certificate of clearance. I was confused by the forms, so I'll ask my professor tomorrow and take care of it on Friday. From what it looks like, I just need certificate of clearance, fingerprinting, statement of purpose, suplementary application (more essays), and collect the rest of my letter of recs. Wow... that's actually a lot considering that it's due in exactly a week. Is it time to freak out yet? Actually I've been freaking out... I just finally calmed down... and now I think I'm about to freak out again. But I know everything will get done. Just time. And I only have one more class for the week tomorrow morning, so I could commit to this after that class.

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I had my first day of classes for the quarter today. Advance Physics lab sucks... sucks big balls. We work in partners and do three labs for the quarter. Our current lab is Muon Detection. The four hour basically went by with "huh?" *scratch head* It's a long story, but in a nutshell, everyone in the room concluded that "this will be a loooooong quarter". Boo! I'm so glad I'm almost done with Physics.

I went to go see my CAM (complementary and alternative medicine) professor today. I actually went to go pick up a letter of rec from him but stayed for an exam. He's so good to talk to. He examined me and found that I need 4 glasses of water, 8-10 hrs of sleep, 1 hour of alone time a day, and more fat in my diet. I told him that I found myself very depressed this week and haven't figured out why. As I was talking to him, everything made sense. He's so good!

From examing me, he could tell that I was heartheavy because something happened between the age of 7 and 8. I'm not sure of the exact incident, but I experienced lots of heartbreaking things as a kid. He also could tell that I haven't been getting alone time nor enough gratitude for myself and what I have. It all makes sense...

My parents kicked me out of the house... well, they didn't kick me out, but I feel like they've already let me go. I'm not even married yet, but they already assume I live with Jonathan and gave away my room. I lived at Jonathan's the whole break, which isn't normally so bad cuz I would get alone time while he's at work, but there comes a time when my personal space and computer would be nice. To top it off, Kit was visiting. I like Kit and all, but my days became wake up and shower in someone else's house, entertain kit/drive him around, then go out with him and Jonathan, then go to bed. I had no alone time. The last day I started to just not go out with then and let Jonathan take him out alone. I like hanging out with him and it's not him at all, it was just the circumstances and me not having time to myself. And now, I'm swamped with beginning of quarter stuff and preparing my grad school apps. I haven't even written my statement of purpose yet and the first one is due next week! yikes! Gotta get working! I keep forgetting about it.

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Happy Birthday, Mommy!!!
Sad that I'm in Irvine and can't be with her on her birthday. We have a retreat for housing tomorrow and if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a supervisor, I would so ditch it. That's so bad to say, huh? I was contemplating about different excuses I could use so I could be home with my mother, but I know it would be so bad if I wasn't here for my staff. Besides, we (and I in preperation) have A LOT to do for our upcoming semi-formal. I'm hand making all the invitations, so I'll try and remember to get a picture of it.

Happy New Year!!! I took a break from this site over winter break. Just too difficult when I don't have my computer. I went to Vegas over the new years. We had some crazy times. Fun Fun. All these deadlines are creaping up, so I'm a bit nervous. The next two months will be B U S Y as I prepare all my grad school application stuff, resumes, interviews, and all that crap for the next level. Jonathan and I also started a buisness, so we'll be busy with that too.

Did I mention that I feel like my parents have assumed I'm out of the house for good? My bedroom has become the guestroom, so my grandma and whoever else is here visiting (since it was the holidays, there was quite a few) sleep in my room. I go home to find that I not only no longer have a room, I no longer have my own bed either. My parents totally assume that I'm sleeping over Jonathan's. I like staying with Jonathan, but I don't want to feel like I live there... not yet, at least. His mom is still there and I don't wanna feel like I'm moving in already. I end up only coming home to visit for couple hours (at most, it's usually less than an hour), then I head out to Jonathan's. When I mention that I wanna sleep at home, they'll either kick my grandma out of my room (which I feel bad and tell them don't bother), or tell me to just take the couch.

I'm not sure how to feel about this all... my parents used to be SUPER strict. Just starting to let me go out was a HUGE move on them. With my ex-bf, they never knew that we had spent nights together while in the dorms, and while at home, we weren't allowed to have the door shut. When I started to stay over occasionally at Jonathan's place, my mom would freak out and call all night and give me lectures on how bad it looks. I used to wish she's just chill and relax. She has now gone to the other extreme... when I go home, they assume that I'm just visiting and expects me to go home with Jonathan. I used to think that that's what I want, but now I just feel like they've kicked me out.

Well, not really kick out because I still feel welcomed... Honestly, I just fear that if they already have the attitude that Jonathan and I are living together, when we get married, it won't be that big of a deal to them... OMG! I sound like my mom! She used to always tell me not to sleep over cuz it'll be like we're married and no one will think it's a big deal when we marry cuz it already has seemed that way. OY... I'll let me sleepy mind shut up now. I'm just missing the close relationship with my mom.
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